Naughty Betty, Jack and Judy 2007 (face, hand, ciggy, flower detail) by Donald Roller Wilson

Naughty Betty, Jack and Judy 2007 (face, hand, ciggy, flower detail) by Donald Roller Wilson
electric train sets
Image by Wonderlane
ARTIST

DONALD ROLLER WILSON

TITLE

JACK WAS INTENSELY NERVOUS ABOUT IT ALL, HIS EYES BEGINNING TO POP, BUT WITH POOR LITTLE JUDY SQUINTING HER’S REAL TIGHT…WOULDN’T (COULDN’T) LOOK…HAVING WIND OF A POTENTIAL DOUBLE HUMPING AND SOME KIND OF UNEXPLAINED, DISRUPTIVE WILD RIDE WHICH THEIR HALF SISTER, NAUGHTY BETTY INTENDED TO TAKE… AND NOT ONLY THAT, BUT TAKE DURING THE MOST INTENSE MOMENT OF JACK’S BAR MITZVAH WHICH HAD BEEN SCHEDULED FOR THE FOLLOWING DAY …SOMETHING LIKE THAT….IT WAS ALL SO INTENTIONALLY CONVOLUTED…

WITH NEITHER JACK OR LITTLE JUDY UNDERSTANDING EXACTLY WHAT A HUMPING WAS (LET ALONE A DOUBLE)…(BUT WITH JACK – HAVING HAD A HARD-ON SINCE BIRTH – BEGINNING TO SMELL A HUGE RAT)…

RECENTLY DISCOVERING BETTY’S CAMELS WERE ONLY CANDY…THE SMOKE BEING FAUX…PRODUCED FROM PELLETS SNUCK FROM THE RESERVOIR OF THEIR HALF-BROTHER JIMMY’S 1938 ELECTRIC TRAIN SET LOCOMOTIVE…BETTY STUFFING THEM INTO THE TIPS OF THE “CAMELS”…

AND, JACKS BAR MITZVAH?…WELL, JUST AS HIS PREVIOUS THREE…IT WOULD FAIL

MEDIUM

OIL ON CANVAS

SIZE

26” H. X 20“ W. UNFRAMED CANVAS SIZE)
34” H. X 28” W. (OVERALL, FRAMED)

FRAME IS MUSEUM QUALITY, CONSIDERED AN INSEPARABLE PART OF THE ART. FRAME HAS BEEN SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED FOR THE PAINTING BY THE ARTIST, AND IS CONSTRUCTED OF HAND CARVED BASS WOOD, TRADITIONALLY WATER GILDED WITH 23KT GOLD OVER A BASE OF GESSO AND RED BOLE. RECESSES OF CARVINGS ARE ASPHALTUM WASHED.

CARVED AND GILDED LETTERS ON LINER CREATE A NARRATIVE WHICH IS SUPPORTIVE OF THE SUBJECT MATTER OF THE PAINTING. THE LINER READS EXACTLY AS FOLLOWS:

(top edge)
BETTY LOST TALLY OF THE NUMBER OF
(right edge)
CAMELS SHE HAD SMOKED, PLUS SHE HAD MISSED
(bottom edge)
ANY OPPORTUNITIES TO ACTUALLY GET
(left edge)
ON ONE, SO IF A TWO-HUMPER SHOWED UP? WELL…

SIGNED

(AS YET UNSIGNED, WILL BE SIGNED, LOWER LEFT EDGE)
DONALD ROLLER WILSON 2007/42

COLLECTION

PRIVATE COLLECTION

Jane Had a Hot Smoking Camel Butt! (eye, fly, ciggy detail) 2007 by Donald Roller Wilson

Jane Had a Hot Smoking Camel Butt! (eye, fly, ciggy detail) 2007 by Donald Roller Wilson
electric train sets
Image by Wonderlane
ARTIST

DONALD ROLLER WILSON

TITLE

A MATTER OF SCALE

JANE HAD HEARD FROM HER HALF SISTER, NAUGHTY BETTY, THAT THE HOLY MOTHER – THE VIRGIN – THE QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE, WOULD AT TIMES APPEAR AS A HOUSE FLY…(AND HAD IMPLIED THE APPARITION MOST FREQUENTLY COINCIDED WITH THE MOTHER’S DETECTION OF NAUGHTINESS)…

AND JANE HAD FOUND A HUGE HOT BUTT…( WHICH BETTY HAD PLANTED IN ORDER TO SEDUCE JANE INTO BEING NAUGHTY SO THAT THE MOTHER WOULD GET HER)…(WITH THE BUTT BEING ONLY THAT OF A CANDY CIGARETTE)…(INTO THE TIP, OF WHICH, BETTY HAD SHOVED A SMALL SMOKE PELLET FROM HER HALF-BROTHER, JIMMY’S 1938 ELECTRIC TRAIN SET LOCOMOTIVE)…(KNOWING JANE WOULD THINK THE HUGE BUTT, DUE TO IT SMOKING, WOULD BE REAL)…

AND THE EXPERIENCE OF JUST THE HUGE SIZE OF THE BUTT, ALONE, WAS ENOUGH TO MAKE JANE’S EYES POP…BUT WHEN SHE SAW THAT THE HOLY MOTHER HAD APPEARED TO GET HER…(AND BETTY HAD WARNED HER, BUT IT HAD MOMENTARILY SLIPPED JANE’S MIND)…NOT ONLY DID JANE’S LITTLE EYES POP EVEN BIGGER – BUT THEY ALMOST POPPED OUT OF HER HEAD!!!

MEDIUM

OIL ON CANVAS

SIZE

7, 1/2" H. X 7, 1/2" W. (UNFRAMED CANVAS)
10, 1/2" H. X 10,1/2" W. (FRAMED)

FRAME IS MUSEUM QUALITY, CONSIDERED AN EXTENSION OF THE ART, AND HAS BEEN DESIGNED BY THE ARTIST SPECIFICALLY FOR THE PAINTING. FRAME IS HAND CARVED FROM SOLID BASS WOOD, IS WATER GILDED WITH 23 KT. GOLD OVER A RED CLAY BOLE. PANELS ARE FINISHED WITH AN ASPHALTUM WASH WHICH HAS BEEN CRACKLED. A CIRCULAR LINER DESIGNED FOR THE FRAME FEATURES A NARRATIVE OF CARVED
WOOD LETTERS, AND IS ALSO FINISHED WITH THE CRACKLED ASPHALTUM WASH. LETTERS OF LINER READ EXACTLY AS FOLLOWS:

JANE HAD A HOT SMOKIN CAMEL BUTT!

SIGNED

(LEFT EDGE)
DONALD ROLLER WILSON 2007/37

COLLECTION

PRIVATE COLLECTION