Question by desmeran: are we the only family where the toys are considered?
community property rather than belonging to one sibling only?
out of our gazillions of stuffed animals each kid has one that is their “special animal” and the other kids have to surrender it if it’s desired by the owner, but other than that, we don’t designate whose stuff is whose. If they got it for a birthday present or something it might be similar in that the birthday child gets first dibs on it for a few weeks, but pretty soon those become community property, too. even at christmas most toys are labeled like “for the scientists” or “for the artists” or “for kids who love trains” rather than being given to one particular child.
How does it work in your family? Do you think it really matters one way or the other? I’ve heard people on here allege that not letting a child have his or her “own” stuff is somehow psychologically damaging, but i’ve got to say that none of my kids seem to be taking any damage thus far, plus we just avoid fights over who owns what…. Should any of them one day express a strong desire that something be solely their own, I suppose I’d consider it, especially if it was purchased with their own money or a present to them,. but the kids have never in almost 10 years even raised that issue (except for non-toy things like journals).
amber, yes they do have to ask when using my things, but my spouse doesn’t, and i see that as more similar. at any rate, it’s not that i’m forcing them to share their stuff … it’s just that we never designated toys as belonging to one kid or another in the first place….
Just clarifying … of course I’m also interested in different opinions or practices, including yours, or I wouldn’t have asked. And this is a very silly kind of question to be thumbs-downing answers on….
lol, i pay for quite a darn lot that belongs to the whole group….
we have one ipod and it sits in a … whatdoyoucallit ihome or something …. in the basement so the kids can put songs on it for their dance parties. thankfully we’re not at a point where the kids have an interest in plugging earphones into the ipod and tuning out. they still want everyone to listen along with them. i’m sure we’ll be there someday. but not yet.
Answer by Nina Lee
Ours will be community property as soon our youngest is old enough to play w/ his big brothers and stop putting everything in his mouth.
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